“You were my test run… I am sorry..

I KNOW your Worth now”

*******

Auch…

3. But I don’t blame you. I gave you a jewel I knew was valuable but did not know her worth…

2. I tolerated too much when I should have tolerated none from Day One.

~ I did not draw the line thick enough…

1. The worst is that you a woke a beast in me. I saw how hatred can consume me… How rotten How ugly I am capeable of being. Ooh you rose feelings I didn’t know I could feel… Anger is not Even The Word. Hell flames is correct.

You got me too hot inside. And not hot to warm you. NO, no, Hot like hell flames to steak you and burn you alive.

No no no.

God forbid I become Bitter and grey old of age. Broken bird or a tamed Lioness. Allahu manajna.

“You were my test run”

– mhm…

Indeed I had loved before you

But no one got through the cracks Like you. Long enough to hold my hand… It was always distant love & good byes through the Phone…

With you it was Love turned into slamming Doors…

Life got hard… Bad habbits… Culture conflict??!(we spoke the same looked the same thought alike or so we thought) … Expectations turn to dust. Love to isolate love to change.

Love tried to erase me from myself. And I treated you with cutting like a knife dreadful silence…

In some way you were my test run too… I couldn’t hang up The Phone and delete you.

*******

Breathe me out…

Breathe your soul back in…

Love is not a prison… Nor am I a property…

I know we were taught other wise. but what can be taught that can not be unlearned?

Isn’t it better that we un learn bad things rather than erasing a person out of their being?

Now breathe me out…

So I may tame the beast in me…

And be.