Category: the Robbery
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talks and tears
Beloved, you will see me cry… and for the thousandth time hear me say this: tears are not weakness. and when you see me share parts of my story, it is not being stuck in the past it is removing the grip it will have on my present, should I hold it close to my…
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Triggered
Dear heart, stop escaping my chest with fear, we are safe. I know you think you hear sounds of the past, that’s why you jump so loud and wake me up from a good sleep… Restful mind, shocked and scared heart… I promise we are alright.
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Mental health issues…
I have been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder in my late teens… Along with severe depression and suicidal thoughts… I am now a month shy of turning 34 years of age alhamdulillah. Glory be to God. My mental health has improved over the years… I have had lots of therapy and did some heavy inner…
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Being feeling broken
Being broken isn’t the end of me… I may shake and puke when faced with the enemy but being broken isn’t the end of me… I may break down and forget to breathe… It will take time to patch myself back to life but being scattered around won’t be the end of me… One day…
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A healing child
Trigger warning! Contains details of physical abuse and mentions sexual abuse. This Ramadan… I am reminded of Ramadan many moons ago… I am reminded of my tiny preteen body… Fasting… Washing clothes under the big tree… The instruction was clear: don’t you dare eat or drink anything before you have prayed! As soon as I…
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Is there anyone without issues? 😅
Yes, I have got issues… Trust issues… I don’t know all my triggers yet… I haven’t worked through all my traumas. Yes, I’m fucked up! But not fucked up enough to wanna fuck up your life! I am nobody’s problem. Incoming hyper independence… But my own. I am learning to listen and to reassure myself…
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Yes, It’s I.
Yes it’s I, the girl with a broken jar for a heart, and yes I have sewn myself back together, but there are cracks in me, still and will always be… Sometimes a crack might bleed by a resurfaced memory… And a wolf may come through a crack again… It may dig its teeth in…
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Bloody cracks
It’s not a lack of sharing something of me, oh I’m so good at sharing something from me, be it a thought, a past, or a look. It’s the assurance that there are cracks I still haven’t learned how to heal or deal to live with. And each time one of them bleed in came…
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Fragile untameable
whenever I tried to get closer to God, an unseen chain of my brokenness brings to light to reveal just how broken and weak parts of me are. And if I’m not careful, a hyena may smell my woundedness and unfortunately, a hyena digging his teeth into my flesh felt home. Tales of body-grown little…