Dear Social Norma
I have to kill the parts of me that I love so dearly – the same ones you claim makes me unique. “When you walk in the room it shines and radiates!” “We miss your good energy and big smile.”
Then why can’t you accept me. Why must I adhere to your standards of beauty and undress to your satisfaction only to find you were never pleased anyway. Why must you claim I’m suppressed, deaf and blind to the same religion that has made me, me? The light you feel and see when I walk in the room all came from the prayer I made that morning. For laying those extra minutes in bed before doing anything else but reading my adkhar. It was the minute my forehead touched the floor and a tear graced my cheek because Oh My Lord, how lucky am I for all that I have. The big smile I distribute because I crave happiness and laughter for the kinds of you.
This light you speak of is felt by me as I prostrate to my Lord and I feel immense tranquility. It’s all the thoughts of my fragile and mortal life that humbles me. My sadness is cured on the days I share the little I have because I know I wasn’t meant for this world and this world wasn’t meant for me. But to help I can and to please my Lord that gave me this opportunity.
So why is it you still insist I kill all the parts of me that I love so dearly?
I know what your world is like. The one you insist I be stuck in together with you. May you now be among the guided towards the light that you claim to love so much because it isn’t me that your soul is missing – it’s Him. Alone I could never be as this was a favor done upon me. And soon in sha Allah, one done upon you.
By Farhia Luul Makerow
Guest author, my baby sis wrote this piece and I have the privilege to post it on my blog.