Bloody cracks

It’s not a lack of sharing something of me, oh I’m so good at sharing something from me, be it a thought, a past, or a look. It’s the assurance that there are cracks I still haven’t learned how to heal or deal to live with. And each time one of them bleed in came a wolf, a hyena ready to tear the rest of me apart. The stitches the years and tears all in vain… But not really, somehow I went back to stitching and patching it all up. And every time I promised myself… Never again will someone come this close to tear us down. Until… See it’s not a lack of sharing something of me.

Do we ever heal fully? No, perhaps not fully healed as that would mean, none of what we lived through has any effect on us. Impossible, but I’m sure by accepting ourselves, our stories, and how we feel, we make it easier for ourselves to live. Emotions change. We evolve. And our cracks take part in shaping us, yes, but they don’t define us. They just become part of our reasons… Reasons we trust too much or too little, or we become vulnerable to hyenas/wolves, reasons we lack a sense of self-worth & have poor judgment… So on…

But our cracks also make us aware that we are strong! Shiiish siis look at you! We chose to heal, to love, and to live joyfully. And we will share what we wish to share of ourselves. Healing is not a destination but a lifelong journey! Some days we are on the front row in a class someday we sit way back behind. It’s all right. Let’s be kind to ourselves through it all.

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