I don’t ask for much, that doesn’t mean I don’t want more. Sure I want to wake up and see the beauty surrounding me. I want to wake up and feel energetic. Sure I want so much more. But I don’t ask because I am grateful. I am thankful. At times when I am alone and I reflect upon the beauty around me, at times I think to myself. This is it. I have everything I need. And of course, I do.
And sometimes I feel a little bit of longing in me… So I send a wish out… Perhaps something beautiful will find its way to me. In a form of a little book, poetry in my hand. Perhaps I will give birth to my poem collection and someone somewhere will read my words and feel as if they are their own.
Ah… Yes, perhaps a flower will bloom in my tiny garden. Oh when I think about it, I wish I could have enough energy to tend to my garden. To look after my cherries and feel the soil and dirt between my fingers again. Isn’t it amazing how we age in such a short time? Just last summer I was able to sit in the ground, sunbathe by a beach fully clothed with my feet dug in the sand. I could hear my sons laugh and play in the water… Would I be able to do that again? Or will I be chairbound?
Does it even matter? I seem to adapt quite easily. I keep surprising myself… How I can stay calm in places one ought to scream. It’s like a switch a gift… I have a room I can check in to, within myself when I feel out of place… Instead of checking out of my body and God knows what… I go deep in… Calm
It takes time you know, from the time my brain processes changes until my body realizes that something has changed.
I have become secure in my own company. I crave it even every night. When I feel chatty, hello Instagram. But otherwise, I am alright. I love it. I am comfortable therefore I don’t ask for more.
Ok, perhaps we can pray? May the side-effects of the meds be glowy skin and no more weight gain? Amiin
Not because of my appearances, coz honeeey! But coz it’s tiresome.
Yeah, and while we are at it, let’s pray for beautiful surroundings, greener pinker, paintings and coffee, laughter and comedy, hugs, and spicy food, sushi, and more hugs. Love in songs and rainbow, fog after rainfall, and sunrise after a hard day. Amiin