I have outgrown some toolsđź’–

The cold came in through the open window hugged and woke me up from my nightmare… I look around me and touched my arms… I was cold yet the sweat run down my chins. My heart pacing I tapped my chest to calm myself down… all is well… all is well… like a mother soothing her baby… all is well… as my spirit returned to my body from the awful dreamland… my eyes regained their sight and I could see, a tiny room, an old nightstand, on it stood a tall glass of half-full water and a notebook, a real notebook with papers. I felt like a fist hit me on my chest… there on the floor lay ripped out pages from my notebook… ah… I exhaled

I looked for my mobile and found it on the floor next to my red morning robe… I had to redirect my thoughts before they went to rooms that I locked, and unleash memories that would soon lead me nowhere but back to unpleasant childhood. Luckily I had picked up useful tools that I use to my advantage whenever I find myself lurking around no entry areas in my head… redirect me… and get lost in the virtual life.

… until I find it safe enough to let myself out…

I found my “back to sanity and safety tools” note that I made and saved in my phone as a reminder: listen there is a light at the end of the tunnel,

1. avoid all kinds of bad news, no news is good news obviously, no news websites will be visited by me for the coming week or so…

2. Pray, pray, read, pray, meditate

3. no calls will be answered from those who have the ability to upset me… 

4. cook, make your favorite meals, 

6. put extra effort to look good and feel good

5. tons of good African music, dance every time possible 

7. talk to whoever is responsible for messing up your world… find the root and rip it out of your system…

This piece is four years old. 🌻 So the “back to sanity tools” have changed evolved and grown with me. However, I am delighted to share it with you. Perhaps some of my tools may help you today. 🧡

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