convosfromwithin

So what??

I should be thankful and grateful that you came home to fuck and not cheat? 

So I should just be grateful ha?

Ignore the stank of alcohol 

Ignore that its 4 am ha?

A quickie you said instead you left now 2 hours later!

Ignore the fact I had to get up put our baby to bed more than 3 times 

Ignore I had to change diapers

Don’t blame it on the alcohol

Blame you

You are not worthy of me

And I refuse I refuse to blame me

Sex is painful 

Sex with you is awful

I did it for the peace

Had I said No 

We would  fight

No, you would get angry

And I don’t want my baby to witness your anger

You chose to leave 

I need space and to think you said

Yet so afraid another may come, boy

When I am still wearing your ring?

Not in hope of reconciliation but I am wearing  it as protection

As an armor

I swear on the  universe I’m done

Men and their painful stick

Do you think you can please me with your dick?

When you can’t even see the tension and horror in my body

I even said to  myself wiggle let him finish  quick and get off

But nooo Mr booze makes you sleepy, doesn’t it?

Do I look like a California king bed? 

Do I hear you snore while you refuse to get off?

I curse the broken pieces in me

I curse the demon that took away my NO 

At a young age

I curse the feet that run to take away the Nos of innocent children

That turns them into broken adults

A curse upon you and curse upon me for not standing up for myself

Once again…

This is an old piece ~ a throwback here is to many more years of healing from traumas so we don’t recreate them! 🌻