Ok! So let’s just say that if anything I am a woman of my word! I don’t like to make a promise I can’t keep. because the promises I broke ate my insides up like a worm… Still, I feel them like salt on a fresh wound. To make a promise and break it, regardless of the circumstances and obstacles, hurt. So, the best I can give now days is «yeah, I will see, inshaAllah(God willing) I will think about it.»
That been said, everything has consequences! Our choices our actions the things we do and say… All have consequences.
Karma. What goes around comes around. I believe this to be true! As I suddenly found myself on the receiving end. There was a time I told tales, stories that weren’t mine to tell, and that hurt the people it concerned. (I’m terribly sorry) Yes, truly 99.9% of the time my intentions were pure. It was a cry for help, it was my way of screaming for healing. But yes there was that 0.1% of times I told these stories in hopes of turning the spotlight away from me. It was a way of saying “ well, at least I am not thaaat bad” when on the inside I felt worse and beyond.
But such is life, forgiven or not, what you throw out in the universe will come and find you, be it instantly or a decade later.
And I embrace it! I welcome it even. Now I know how you felt when you heard your story retold wrongfully. And now we know that I am a storyteller and on my way, I have learned to tell stories respectfully. Artistically in honor of every soul who inspired me to write. But back then I was just practicing. How to become a better human how to love me and have peace within. And if you remember the girl with the big curls holding a microphone in her shaky hand who sang songs written in heartache, I was her. I respect that girl. Most of the time like 99.9% of the time she really meant well.
And the woman with pink and grey hijab on her head, welcomes everything coming her way. I am her.
Now I say this to say, people change, people must change we must grow. And no one owes you an explanation of why they have changed.
I don’t do regrets! Nor do I feel ashamed of my story. 🌻
And the end I want to say, I forgive you in advance, don’t hate yourself on my behalf. You are just a pond in the greater lesson the universe has for me. I know now that the earth indeed hurts when the seeds start to grow. And the tree feels when the branches crack and the leaves fall off… It is a blessing to feel. 🌻