At nights… In the quiet midnight… From afar I hear a car pass if I don’t have headphones to block the noise… A tiny stone lifted by the wind hits my window or it could be a poor little bug trying to get inside from the cold wind… Still, there is no talking sense to me, to the passing heart, my body goes to shock mode. I can’t move, I can’t move my legs or my arms I forgot how to close my eyes, I scream in terror but no sound gets out. I’m on edge-triggered back to trauma.
And like always I breathe from my noise until the air reaches my lungs and a sigh and relief escapes my mouth.
I am alive, I am here. We are safe we are ok.
Please understand my walking maybe like a walk of a sloth 🦥 slowly slowly slow like a snail🐌 I am getting there healing day by day.