A journal entry 🥀

Sunday, March 4th. 18

Love at 03 am

You let yourself in and surprised I am not to see you hovering over the bedside. After all its Saturday.

You love me too much to stay away on weekends…

And since I am still Legally yours… You show yourself in.

Is it ludicrous to Hope though?

Hope it’s a spin around touch and you’re done?!

Please be done before 

our offspring wakes up “mommy give us your attention”


love brought You here in the early hour

You came to devour eat while you sleep

Snore love sound while you lay heavy on my body

It’s not your body that’s choking the air around me

But the green odored river you quenched your thirst with

Oh how it spears through my chest

Heavy-hearted soul

What have I become?

Which God sent this wicked love my way?

I lay… stay… this time obey

With each breath, you drew fibers in me shrink in disapproval…

Love at 03.45

Never will I adjust and get used to your loving ways

“Let me love you when I can love you”

“let me have you so Noone else gets you”

I promise I will be back in time to step up and be a good life partner and… ”

“Let me be gone and have peace of mind”

“Let me, but hell if I let you”

Still loving me at 04.15

By now I am too tired to shake the feeling

I feel used

I keep running into my safe room

But you keep drawing me out…

used only the vessel is used

The soul checks out

I stay in a simple hut by the farms

I am in a familiar space running in green fields

Oh back to the time when her smile was not stolen

The soul checks out

while you are here

I am wide awake yet deeply asleep…

Emotions detached so lovelily

Oh its heaven to live in here

Avoiding war I stay in my hut by the green fields… Deep within me

To step out when you show out…

Gone out of the door

My Love for my soul keeps me locked in safe somewhere deep in my mind

While your love is here to devour

Used only the vessel is used

I stay safe detached from emotions

Oh how lovely it is to be here


You think you have me

Look at me

Do you see me disappearing

Slipping through your grip

It’s a matter of time


I am claiming this vessel


Love is satisfied

Love went dragging

the scent of a heavier odor named


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